FOR YOU, DISTANT LOVER
by Marie Delgado Travis
As I fulfill the simple tasks
of my household,
a small piece of my heart
detaches itself into the air,
~ light as a sigh ~
and softly takes flight,
toward indigo horizon,
to arrive early
at our rendezvous
in the most intimate corner
of a small hideaway,
imprecise,
but that
surely exists,
though never
drawn on any map,
but which I feel
and conquer
in our name.
There we sing
sacred hymns,
paint stained glass
with images of
our future together
in vivid colors,
sealed with
blushes and tears.
We praise Him for
granting us
the grace
of our love,
prohibited, yes,
under all of the laws
of man,
but so much more
a religious act than the
tentative "And if ...?"
that crossed my mind
that day at the altar
indecision that annulled
my judgment until death.
There was so much expectation
on the part of my loved ones.
For them (who didn’t have
to live with him)
it was a fairy tale
come true
"What a good match!
How happy they look!"
I felt pursued, trapped.
There was no refuge for me,
not even in a church.
Meaningless sacrifice
at the altar,
for what others would say,
for fear of running,
of hurting,
without realizing
that in the long run,
one hurts others
much more this way.
I didn’t know what it was
to give an oath
until I felt my waist so
small within your hands,
hands that today
encompass
and bind me forever
to your memory.
I live only in you,
as if in a dream,
conscious that you are
my creed,
the long-awaited,
long-desired miracle.
God will forgive us
because He is the
God of Love,
and He -- who knows
the secrets of the soul,
and is all-powerful ---
knows only too well that
I have shared my bed
with one who is much
more distant than you
at this moment.
I fulfill my household duties,
and think of you.
Thank you for living in me.
